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Shiraishi Ryoko - Sorairo no Tsubasa

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Topic Starter
ztrot
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 10:30:22 AM

Artist: Shiraishi Ryoko
Title: Sorairo no Tsubasa (Tv Size)
Source: Himawari!!
Tags: Shiraishi Ryoko, Sorairo no Tsubasa, Himawari!!
BPM: 210
Filesize: 13120kb
Play Time: 01:27
Difficulties Available:
  1. Hard (4.6 stars, 190 notes)
  2. Normal (4.1 stars, 161 notes)
Download: Shiraishi Ryoko - Sorairo no Tsubasa (Tv Size)
Download: Shiraishi Ryoko - Sorairo no Tsubasa (Tv Size) (no video)
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
Needs a bat mad
vytalibus
Offset: 7,500

[Normal]
00:11:78 (4) - Too close.
00:18:35 (3) - Too far.
00:18:92 (1,1) up to 00:22:64 - Rehaul this whole thing. It's so bland with its lack of activity. Since this map only runs for 1:30, I think you can get away without putting any breaks.
00:32:35 (5) - TOO FAR.
00:53:21 (3) - Misaligned.
01:22:92 (1) - TOO FAR. Also, almost overlapping slider.

[Hard]
00:11:49 (3,4,5) - Misaligned.
00:20:07 (1) - Make (2) the new combo instead of this.
00:24:64 (7) - No problem with this slider, though you could've achieved the same thing using a Catmull slider. If you don't know what I mean, press "S" while making a slider.
00:26:92 (4) - Misaligned.
00:38:92 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - Misaligned.
00:48:92 (4,5,6,7) - Misaligned.
00:52:07 (7) - Misaligned.
00:54:35 (7) - Misaligned unless intentional.
01:00:35 (4) - Misaligned.
01:22:64 (9) - This is quite a major jump. Reconsider its position.

[Normal] feels awfully like [Hard], and that's not a good thing. I'd really suggest making new patterns for those.
Topic Starter
ztrot
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
vytalibus

ztrot wrote:

ok vyt i will fix all this but before i get started what do you mean by change the patterns? the whole map or the way it is set up?
When I mean "change the patterns", I want you to remove every note highlighted in that specific point and make a new set of notes.
K2J
[Normal]
00:10:91 (1,2) - This is ugly and confusing. Try moving them down a level, with 1 directly beneath the spaces between 00:09:77 (1) and 00:10:63 (4).
00:23:20 (2,3) - These shouldn't be so close together if they're the same spacing as between 1 and 2.
00:28:06 (6) - I recommend separating the endpoints a bit. You could also flip it horizontally so there's not such a sudden change from moving right to moving left.

[Hard]

Can't find anything wrong.

Fix this stuff, PM me in chat, and get a star. Looking pretty good, so far.

Download: Katakiri Rekka - Deep Blue Sky & Pure White Wings (mjw5150) [poor_98's Taiko].osu
Sushi
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Sleep Powder
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.

Download: Shiraishi Ryoko - Sorairo no Tsubasa (animask) [animasks Difficulty].osu
K2J
All right, much better.

[Normal]
00:52:06 (6) - Move into alignment
01:12:06 (3) - Probably shouldn't be under the slider...

Star.
Jarby
Large parts of the combobursts are not transparent. Lower the hitsound volume.

Normal:

00:18:91 (1) - Lengthen by 1/1.
00:20:06 (1) - Remove.
00:23:49 (3,4) - Spacing.
00:26:06 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - Again, keep spacing consistent within combos.
01:04:63 (1,1,2,3,1,1) - Doesn't give enough time for the player to respond.
01:25:49 (1) - Map the drums instead.

Again.

Normal:

01:01:77 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11) - Move down 2 level 2 grid squares.
01:04:34 (8) - 1/2 forward, shorten 1/2.
01:04:34() - Place circle.
01:06:34 (9) - New combo.


Hard:

00:17:20 (1) - Remove new combo.
00:17:77 (7) - New combo.
00:20:63 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - Flip horizontal, drag to the right edge, replace 6 and 7 in the diagonal pattern.
Sushi
Suggestion : Change slider tick rate to 1

[Normal]
00:12:06 (1) - Align this with previous circle to be prettier
00:22:34 (4) - I know it's due to grid snap and distance snap messing up, but find a way to make this the same place as 00:23:49 (3)
00:33:77 (9) - Move this without grid snap for it to be in the middle
00:58:34 (4,5,6) - Move these 1 grid up to align
01:12:06 (3) - New combo
01:12:63 (5) - Align this with previous
01:12:63 (5,7) - Overlap...
01:13:77 (7) - Make this symetric
01:22:91 (10) - ^

[Hard]
00:53:78 (5) - Align horizontally with (3)


I didn't really nazi today, but i'll maybe re-mod this
You really improved in beatmapping ztrot
whymeman
I'll try my best to look into any noticable errors. Great song btw :)

**[Normal] (Done...)

00:18:91 (1) - I like the design of this spinner and its evenly balanced. 8-)
*00:51:49 (4,5,6,1,2,3) - Just a slight misalignment between these two rows.
*01:12:63 (3,4,5) - The shape of were (3), (4), and (5) meet looks a bit odd, but that can't be too much of a problem....

Not much here that stands out. Clean and well done. :)

**[animasks Difficulty] (Done...)

*00:19:78 (1) - Might want to get the starting point of this slider evenly with the fading (3) to make it look more neat.
*00:42:35 (5) - Looks like it kinda fell out of the formation. Try to line this one up with (3).
*00:44:64 (2) - The placement of this note is odd since its right over the slider...... maybe moving this note to somewhere around the left side of (1) could make this combo look better?
*00:54:07 (6,7,8,9,10) - The formation started to fall apart at (6) and up to (10). Maybe you can try to even this out a bit?

That's all I see for this one. Good job. :)

**[Hard](Done...)

*00:09:50 (5,1) - (1) fell out of the formation a bit. Try to even this note out with (5) along with the other notes that follow on.
*00:16:07 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - The shape is a bit misaligned, try to see if you can even these out.
*00:24:35 (6,7) - The slider could line up better with (6).
*00:30:35 (3) - The end point of the slider slightly misaligned with (4).
*00:36:64 (9,10) - Fell out of formation a bit. Try to line up (9) with (7).
*00:42:35 (5,6) - Also fell out of formation a bit. Try to line up (5) with (3).
*00:44:64 (2) - Same error from animask's diffculty. Try to move (2) to around the left side of (1).
*00:54:07 (6,7,8,9,10) - Once again, the formation started to fall apart at (6) and up to (10). Maybe you can try to even this out a bit?

Not bad, though when I think about it, its kinda like a deja vu from animasks difficulty, but with some changes. Maybe if you are able to "spice it up" with more of your own idea's into it, it would turn out just fine. :D

Sticky Notes
* Not trying to pull on your leg with these errors. I'm mainly giving you the heads up as some people are very picky with small things like this but it would help to make the map look more clean and organized.

** You might want to check the map detials and see if you can fill them in for each one [like Source and Tags]. [animasks Difficulty] and [Hard] doesn't seem to have any detail of which anime the song came from or detials in the search tags.

Overall: The map is cleanly made with only a few minor errors to worry about. The timing and offset is perfect and the vid works fine. I hope to see this beatmap ranked. :)

Oh, and star for effort. :D
Sleep Powder
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.

Download: Shiraishi Ryoko - Sorairo no Tsubasa (animask) [animasks Difficulty].osu

Download: Ryu - Sakura Reflection (SnowWhite) [Mold's Insane].osu
Behon
Great job on this overall, though I think the deathstream towards the end of Normal is a bit out of place difficulty-wise compared to the rest of the map.

Nevertheless, you get a star from me.
Shinxyn
Need to nazi here~

Normal-
00:32:91 (6) - align in middle of 5 and 7 (don't use grid snap and do use distance snap)
00:33:77 (9) - spacing?
00:37:20 (9) - don't like how its "out of line" from 7,8
00:41:77 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - take out some claps, I'd say from 2 and 6 or 7
00:52:63 (1) - alignment? :P
01:21:20 (6) - new combo?

Hard-
00:24:64 (7) - looks.. so out of place?
00:42:07 (4) - one level 3 grid up
Why does hard have an easier ending than Normal?

animask's-
00:35:21 (4) - up a tick
00:43:07 (3,4) - either line up 3 and 4 with end of 2, or just line up the 4 with 2
00:56:35 (4) - down a tick?
The sped up clappy parts sound awfully random to me
and turn down volume more

Overall... I can't say I like the hitsounds much, maybe because its still too loud for my taste..
But good enough for a star~
Sleep Powder
~Overdrive Mode~
a.k.a Nazi Mod

[Normal]
00:14:62 (4) - I don't like the pause after here...I know you tried to make it easier than hard but it doesn't really feel right. Try making a slider with 4 and 5?
00:24:05 (5) - Align with 2
00:24:63 (7) - Align slider end with 8
00:26:91 (4) - Don't make it overlap 5 and fix the slider beginning so it doesn't touch the 3.
00:30:34 (3) - Don't make it touch the 2
00:33:19 (7) - Stack with fading 4 OR adjust the slider end so it stacks on 7
00:51:48 (4) - Align with 3
00:37:20 (9) - Align the slider direction with (7,8)

[Hard]
Change offset to 7,490
Same as Normal
00:09:78 (1) - Align with 5
00:16:64 (3) - Align with 1
01:13:78 (7) - Make sure it doesn't overlap the hitcircle

That's all I can do for now


EDIT: Where's the difficulty I made...again...? 0_o
Daru
Sunflower hitcircle, as requested:

anonymous_old
General
Another win map by ztrot. \:D/

Normal
SS's on my first try (and I've never heard the song), so this map is pretty intuitive. ;D
Most of your sliders have minor spacing issues.

00:17:20 (5) - Space evenly between (4) and (1).
00:21:20 (3) - Space evenly between (2) and (4).
00:24:63 (7) - Space evenly...
00:26:91 (4) - Space evenly...
00:28:06 (6) - Space evenly (just a smidgen here).
00:31:49 (4) - Have end above 00:33:20 (7) for proper distance spacing between (4) and (5).
00:45:20 (4) - Space evenly.
00:55:49 (9) - Space evenly.
01:04:63 (9) - Sounds like a note should be here. Maybe a slider to fill the break?
01:10:34 (2) - Too close to (1).
01:18:34 (4) - Have end above 01:21:49 (2).
01:19:49 (5) - Move left.
01:22:63 (4) - Space evenly (probably by moving (4,5) right).
01:22:91 (5) - Redo timing here.

01:08:06 (1,2,3,1) - Add whistle.
01:10:34 (2) - Finish on end.
01:13:77 (5) - Whistle, and finish on end.
etc. etc.
Basically you gotta add hit sounds for this part.

Hard
00:46:35 (6) - Weirdbend is weird.
01:22:92 (1) - Looks kinda weird here, too.
01:25:50 (1) - Replace with notes to match the drum.
Ryuukun
[Hard]
00:09:77 (1,2,3) - put them 1 grid higher (grid level 3)
[Normal]
00:50:34 (1,2,3) - put them 1 grid higher so that they are on one line with 00:51:49 (4)

also this map lacks tags and Hard even lacks the Source.

Its the kind of map osu is lacking.
Easy songs playable for beginners :)
Nazo_old
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Nachy
Really great job, I love the sliders and overall notes in Normal mode, Hard mode is very fast paced and fun and spinners and sliders are placed nicely, and overall notes are good.
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