[General]
Offset: Slowing down the playback and listening to the hitsounds, it seems like your offset should be earlier to match the percussion. An offset of somewhere around the 65-70 range seems to play smoother in my opinion.
Hitsounds: Your hitsounds are too soft for a percussion-heavy track like this. Try using the Drum sampleset as your default and see if you like it.
For Kiai graphics reasons I've heard that it's a
bad idea to use solid white as a mapping color, see:
http://osu.ppy.sh/wiki/Kiai_TimeChange it to a different color, or just using three colors is also fine.
[Standard]
01:45:743 (1) - Try to silence this spinner hitsound (change volume to 5%). Applies for all difficulties.
No other issues as far as I can tell. This difficulty plays smoothly.
[Heavy]
Approach Rate up to 8 (+1). AR7 puts too many objects on the screen at one time, and becomes especially problematic during the faster-paced sections like your Kiai section, which not only has a lot of objects, but various rhythms are well, making clear-to-see approach circles much more helpful to the player than an explosion of approach circles (which is what AR7 looks like).
00:18:221 (3,4,1) - Move the 4-circle more to the left so that the spacing is uniform.
01:03:284 (1,2,3,4,5) - Watch the symmetry here.
01:19:967 (2,3,5,6) - Move more to the left so that it's evenly spaced from the sliders on both sides.
Overall the map feels very rectangular—that is, you've focused more on sharp, right or acute angles and straight edges rather than obtuse angles and gentle curves—which is why I paid attention to your object symmetry. To be honest I'm not really a fan of rectangular maps myself; this map plays somewhat awkwardly in general for me, but I can't tell if that's because your organization is ambiguous or if it's just that I don't like rectangular maps.
[Challenge]
01:06:816 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - You should make this stream follow a gentle curve rather than an angled line. During play, the player can't fully focus on the arrangement and can only get a quick glance at it before it disappears, and at a quick glance, the stream looks sloppy. You tend to like to use straight lines more than curves it seems, but streams in general like this look much better as curves. Or you could just take out the angles and make the stream follow a perfectly straight line.
Beyond that, I can't offer much feedback here, because I can't play through this map, sorry.
Overall, nice mapset, impressive work for a first-time mapper! Good luck with ranking!